Psalm 51:10-21: An Exercise in Translation

Wayne Leman took the time to work through my translation of Psalm 51 and noted problematic aspects as he sees them. It is highly instructive to think through these issues calmly and constructively.

In this post, the last in a series, I record Wayne’s observations on Psalm 51:10-21 and respond as best I know how. Earlier posts in the series: here and here. Be sure to check out the comment threads. This is a work in progress. 

10         Let me hear gladness and joy,

                     let the frame you crushed exult.

11         Avert your face from my offenses,

                    erase all my misdeeds.

12        Make for me, O God,

                   a clean heart.

           Put within me

                  a new, right spirit.

13      Do not throw me out of your presence,

                 your holy spirit

                        do not take from me.

14      Let me be contented by your deliverance,

                let a vigorous spirit sustain me.

15      I will teach transgressors your ways,

               offenders will return to you.

16      Rescue me from bloodguilt, O God;

               my delivering God,

                    let my tongue sing of your goodness.

17      O Lord, open my lips,

                    let my mouth declare your praise.

18      Because it’s not sacrifice you desire,

                 with a burnt offering I make

                             you are not satisfied,

19      God’s sacrifices

                   are a broken spirit,

           a broken, crushed heart

                  you do not despise, O God.

20       Be good with Zion in your pleasure,

                  may you rebuild Jerusalem’s walls.

21      Then you’ll be desirous of proper sacrifice,

                 burnt and whole offerings;

                    then bulls shall burn on your altar.

 
W’s comment re “Make for me, O God, / a clean heart”: This sounds like it could be an external heart. I think this is closer to what David intended: "O God, make my heart clean."

My response: I see Wayne’s point. My translation is close to REB, NAB and NJPSV. NRSV and NJB seem to want to avoid the misunderstanding Wayne anticipates. They translate “create in me a clean heart.” I wish to retain “for me,” as does Alter. It’s appropriate to think of the “clean heart” as something that, metaphorically, comes from the outside. Compare Ezekiel 36:26, where God says “I will put a new heart within you.”

W’s comment re “with a burnt offering I make / you are not satisfied”: Each time I read this, I find it difficult to process. Consider: "with my burnt offerings you are not satisfied."

My response: the original is difficult to process, too! I construe the underlying text, as have others before me, against the masoretic accents. The example illustrates a perennial issue. Should a difficult-to-process text be improved in translation? The text would read more smoothly if translated: “with burnt offerings I make / you are not satisfied.” Not as smooth as Wayne’s suggestion, but closer to the level of smoothness of the original.

W’s comment re “God’s sacrifices”: Ambiguity in English not intended by the Hebrew; Are they sacrifices to God or sacrifices God makes? Consider "Sacrifices God wants."

My response: Wayne identifies an important issue. Is there intended ambiguity here? When I translated the text, I was struck by the potential ambiguity of the text, and translated accordingly. But potential ambiguity is not the same as intended ambiguity. In much traditional exegesis, two levels of intention are assumed: that of the human author, and that of God, with God’s intention being identified with the potential ambiguity and range of meanings a construction might have irrespective of the particular context. It might be best to resolve the ambiguity with NRSV and NJPSV and translate “The sacrifices acceptable to God.” In a footnote, a calque of the Hebrew might be given as an aid to understanding traditional exegesis that depends on the text’s “ambiguity in the abstract.”

W’s comment re “in your pleasure”: "in your pleasure" adds an awkward sound to this clause.

My response: I concur. The passage means, in bad, prosaic English: “in accordance with your known will, be good to Zion.” The challenge: to reduce that to a terse, poetic, and natural expression.

W’s comment re “you’ll be desirous”: stilted English; consider "Then you'll desire proper sacrifice."

My response: I concur. The translation I offer is stilted. Wayne’s proposal flows better, and I think it is also possible to avoid the contraction: “Then you will desire.”

I enjoyed this exercise. Wayne’s comments push me in the direction of translating in a more readable and natural fashion. I am thankful.

Comments

[Henry Carmichael]

John:
Does the fact that you are translating poetry make a difference in how you render this passage? "Literary" in poetry differs, I think, from "literary" in prose.

[JohnFH]

That Psalm 51 is poetry means that the semantic content it conveys has been poured into a mold which obeys certain rules in terms of meter and rhythm. It means that parallelismus membrorum, a trope that sometimes occurs in prose, characterizes its structure throughout.

It is possible to translate in such a way that the terseness and tropes of the original are respected. It is possible to translate with an ear for rhythm. This is what I'm trying to do. Curzon and Alter and many others are trying to do the same thing in their translations.

[Wayne Leman]

John wrote:

It is possible to translate in such a way that the terseness and tropes of the original are respected. It is possible to translate with an ear for rhythm.

I fully agree, John, and this is often what is missing in the more idiomatic translations such as GNB. My ideal Bible would be accurate, have natural English, and yet try to reflect the varying genres and literary style (and level). I haven't yet found such an English Bible, but hope springs eternal :-)

[Breaker Morant 2]

I found this post very interesting. I thought that having someone go through and also translate and find differences is a good way to find different meanings in something that is thought to be the same. I think, however, that no matter where or how the translation is given there will always be someone who disagrees. There are many ways to translate and many different languages can cause confusion when translating. I do think that if the main point is given that leaving it up to the people to decipher the readings, it gives us a chance to learn and explore while getting our own meanings from the text.

[The Truman Show 5]

I really liked this post. I appreciate that you go through the trouble to translate this into different languages to find the different meanings. But then again it doesn't really matter what the different translations are being there will always be people who agree with one and others who disagree. My favorite part of the text was 12, "make for me, O God, a clean heart." This makes me think of what I should ask of him. One of these days I feel he'll come through with that promise.

[chariots of fire 3]

I felt the article was interesting; it was nice to see how somebody, Wayne, viewed the translations and what he thought that translations messages were to him. Then it was even better to see what you thought about Wayne’s post and how you took the messages of the translations. Two opinions on each translation were very helpful, it made me understand the translations more clearly and get the message each one was sending. On number 12 “Make for me, O God, a clean heart. I didn’t completely agree with what the two of you took out of it, I believe that it is similar to a confession and that is why the heart is clean because he is free of guilt.

[Praying with Lior 3]

As a Communication Major, I think I have an easier time being open to more than just one view of translation. In my field we are taught to understand that words have more than one meaning and even more meanings than Mr. Webster’s Dictionary. Words and their meaning are fluid and ever changing depending on the person sending the message and the person receiving it. Words are what we make of them and in many instances fit the situation we want them too. This is especially true when it comes to interpretations of the Bible. As we discussed the first week of class, there are a couple of ways to read the Bible and scripture in particular. There is the way of canonical reading which is what most of us as Christians do. That is, we expect the Word to be true, relevant, and have purpose according to the ways we have been brought up in the church. But there is another way of reading scripture known as the critical reading strategy. This form approaches text from a literary context rather than a religious perspective and treats the Bible as a text to be put in literal translation which its meaning sometimes can get lost. I don’t think that Wayne’s translation of making a clean heart necessarily puts it external. When I think of asking God for a clean heart, I am asking him to cleanse my soul to help me extend graciousness. Wayne’s translation reminded me of a song that is near and dear to my heart. It is called Restore to Me and the version I love is sung by Mac Powell, a Christian artist. His rendition speaks to this session of retribution and asking God to extend grace, cleansing your soul, and restoring our salvation in Him. Here is the link if any of you would like to have your spirits lifted: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFpJkWg2C8E. This song has been an inspiration in so many trials in my life. Enjoy

[The Mission 2]

As a Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod (WELS) Christian we sing verses 10-12 during almost every service. "Create in me" is a powerful short prayer, to me talking about purity, mercy, and asking God for forgiveness. First we ask God to create a pure heart in us as well as a steadfast spirit. Both of which only God can give us. Then begging for God not to cast us away from His presence or take His Spirit from us. Through this Spirit God gives us a new heart and a new spirit or will. If God grants us a new heart and spirit then the joy of God's salvation will return gladness to our troubled souls. With this joy we should have no problem serving God with a renewed and willing spirit and attitude.